Toronto man protests review of bicycle deaths, advocates driver’s rights.

TORONTO, ON- On the eve of the Ontario Coroner’s planned review into increasing cyclist deaths, another advocate is trying to bring attention to a far more serious problem on our roads. Local motorist Otto Mobiliste is petitioning City Hall for an investigation into another epidemic: The rash of motor car deaths in the GTA.

Otto sits outside city hall alone, shouting slogans through a megaphone. Between rants, he agreed to speak to Tart News. We didn’t really have a choice in the matter.

“It all began,” he said, “when I read this one article that said 15 to 20 cyclists were killed every year in Ontario. That’s why they’re doing this big review, right? Makes sense. But then I did a bit of research, and found out that something like 700 drivers are killed every year.” Grabbing his megaphone and shouting to a passerby, he explains, “That’s like 5000 percent as much!” Said passerby appeared uninterested.

“You see,” he continued, “If twenty cyclists is an epidemic, then this is like, the black plague or something. I really don’t know why no one else has noticed.”

To this end, he’s begun his protest outside city hall. It’s small, but he insists it’s growing. “Well, so far it’s just me and my dog,” he admits. “My wife was out here too, but we had a little disag- I mean, she’s supporting me on the home front.”

He remains somewhat bitter about his low turnout, though, pegging the blame on the nearby Occupy Toronto movement.

“I mean, this is how I reckon it went down,” he insists. “They get a whiff of my plans, and the second they do, there’s this other protest jamming up Bay street. How did that happen, eh? It’s because my message is too real, so they have to silence it up with this other protest about the economy,” he says with a noticeable scoff.“The economy? Really? I mean, I don’t have a job, but you don’t hear me complaining.”

As for the plight of Ontario drivers, Otto is more than willing to offer his share of theories, regardless of whether or not we wanted to hear them.

“See, the problem is,” he continues, “people don’t care about drivers. They’re such a hated part of our roadways. I mean, they’re always being shoved aside for construction, emergency vehicles get to ignore them….this anti-car culture has to stop!”

He similarly shakes off questions about cyclists deserving special treatment due to the additional dangers of riding a bike.

“Nobody said they had to get on those bikes,” he insists. “I mean, it was their choice. And they’re the minority, you know. Forget that Wall Street thing. Us drivers, we’ve got to stick together. I mean, we’re the real 99 percent, right? Right? You know who rides bikes? Bankers, that’s who!”

Unfortunately, the day after the interview was conducted, Tart News discovered that Otto had been arrested. The police have yet to make a statement, but Otto is arguing that he was wronged, and that that cyclist totally got in the way of that rock he threw.