Tebow on Lions – “I fear only God – and Ndamukong Suh”

DENVER, CO — With the surging Detroit Lions coming to town, the Denver Bronco’s latest QB, Tim Tebow, is praying he doesn’t leave Sports Authority Field on a cart, or in a bag.

Tebow has a couple good reasons to date.

“I’d like to thank my lord and savior Jesus Christ, and the Riddell company for making these new, high-impact helmets”, said Tebow, when asked about the Lions defensive front four.

“I’d also like to thank my lord and savior Jesus Christ and my offensive line, whom I invited out to an alcohol-free dinner last Tuesday, even though only the 3rd string left guard showed up at the church dinner”.

Tebow, who is still reported to be a virgin, and has a “friendship brewing” with a teammate, does not feel that his lifestyle alienates him from the rest of the Broncos. “I’d like to thank my lord and savior Jesus Christ, and I feel that I don’t need to go on and on and on about my team”.

The Lions, now generating a buzz with their nasty defense, led by 2nd year interior lineman Ndamukong Suh, appear to be quite blunt with their plans for Sunday.

“We’re gonna expedite his trip to heaven”, said an unnamed linebacker. “One bible-thumper stands no chance against 11 body-thumpers”.

When alerted to the comments coming from the Lions, Tebow uncharacteristically attacked with, “”I’d like to thank my lord and savior Jesus Christ, and hope that whoever said that tears the ACL in both of his knees then goes home to find that his dog got hit by a moving van”.

The Lions are 3 point favorites.