Steve Wozniak lines up for Job’s funeral

LOS GATOS, CA — Steve Wozniak, wearing a symbolic black armband, was first in line for the roll out of Steven Jobs.

Even though today’s funeral for the iconic leader of Apple was available via podcast to the closest of IP addresses, Wozniak was insistent that he be first to pay his respects without the security and convenience of PayPal.

“I was greasing the bearings on my Segway when I heard the news”, quipped Wozniak. “Seeing that funeral wasn’t public, I didn’t want to take the chance that I wasn’t on the list of invitees, so I got in a line”. What Wozniak didn’t know was that the line was for the restroom.

In a related story, Sichuan Electroniks, which employs thousands of manually dexterous component assemblers, announced today that there will be an additional 30 second rest period allotted to its senior assemblers in order to honor the man who has changed their lives in so many ways.

Ling Chen Ing, who, at age 15, supports her family of seven, is thankful to “Boss Jobs” for her employment opportunity.

Through a translator, Ing claims that, “Boss Jobs very good man. Here so many people want to work for him that when one fall asleep on job, there is always someone to replace”.

Ing added, “Company I work for make screen for phone. People all over the world use phone for serious reason like talk business. I make sure screen has no defect”.

It’s been estimated that Apple has saved well over 3 billion dollars over the years by selecting workplaces which not only perform quality work, but also employ persons who are very pleased to work for a somewhat smaller compensation package than expected in Job’s home country, the United States of America.